Smelling The Flowers
by ScandalousMinds
Summary: Set in a Season 6 AU verse. Michonne is learning to embrace her life in Alexandria, while Rick is learning that his consequences leave a bitter taste. Mini-fic. A lot of conversation.
1. Chapter 1

A/N - Hi everyone, this isn't going to be a long fic - two to three chapters - but I just wanted to give you something a little different.

I have no clue how this will go down, but hey let's find out together!

I have no idea where this came from, but I hope you enjoy!

I own nothing but the words, the rest is all Kirkman's and AMC's and absolutely no infringement is intended.

(P.s - It's quite dialogue heavy!)

Before Alexandria Michonne had never understood the phrase, 'taking the time to smell the flowers'. It was something she'd heard constantly throughout her life before the turn, it'd plagued her, yet she'd never understood it, because Michonne had never seen the appeal in flowers or taking her time to smell them. She had liked being busy, she'd enjoyed the process of keeping things moving.

It was why she'd enjoyed her career as a lawyer as much as she had. It'd been a fast-paced environment, where she had had to keep up or lose big. She supposed it was why she'd thrived so well when the world had gone to hell too.

But as time passed and her understanding of how quickly the world could turn on itself expanded, the phrase that had previously made her roll her eyes and recoil, suddenly finally began making sense.

Hence why, she was spending her free day sat crossed legged on the pasture near Alexandria's pond, watching as Judith happily slammed her toy blocks into the checked blanket they were both sat on. She watched as Judith discarded her blocks, to instead begin pulling at the daisies that surrounded the edge of the material.

A peaceful smile crossed Michonne's features, as she sat enraptured with the tiny tot, as Judith thrust handfuls of crushed petals into her face.

 _Smelling the flowers_.

Michonne embraced the saying now, loved the sentiment behind it, loved the way the word now wrapped around her in a comforting embrace, instead of the strangling hold of before.

Michonne's eyes lifted from the carefree baby before her to somewhere off into the distance, as she listened to the strong yet subtle tread of footsteps not far behind her.

The time she'd spent 'inside' – behind the walls of Alexandria, away from the 'out there' hadn't dulled her senses or her skills. She didn't tense at the sound of someone approaching her much these days, but she was never anything short of vigilant.

"Hey there, sexy samurai!" Michonne smiled at the corniness of the easy greeting despite herself, rolling her eyes up to meet the larger body coming to sit next to her in front of Judith. "Hey there, sexy samurai's baby."

Judith only looked up just long enough to squint, before going back to tackling her daisies.

The action amused Michonne to no end, as it was how all the 'Grimes' in her household greeted anyone who seemed 'too familiar' around Michonne.

"How are you today, Spencer?" Michonne smiled.

The grin on Spencer's face was as wide as it always seemed to be. "All the better for seeing you."

Michonne chuckled shaking her head, "do you come up with these lines ahead of time, or do they just appear to you, as some form of phantom thought?"

Spencer shrugged, glancing out onto the still water ahead of him. "I think it. I say it." He then glanced back to watch Michonne's subtle smile, before continuing. "We can't all be as well prepared as you counsellor."

Michonne, went back to watching Judith. "You could try."

"Is that what you want? For me to try?" Spencer's voice lowered, and his eyebrow raised so comically high, Michonne let out another chuckle.

She soon frowned, registering his words. "Spencer, we've talked about this."

"What? We're just two innocent friends…innocently flirting."

Michonne eyed him closely for a moment. "It's only innocent…if it lacks _intent_."

"Woah, Hey! It's not my fault if you can't control yourself. I actually have self-restraint."

"You're ridiculous." Michonne huffed.

"Only with you."

Michonne shook her head. "Liar."

"Ah well. It was worth a shot." Leaning back so his face was to the sun, Spencer decided to be the good boy he promised her he'd be. "So why are you out here?"

"I had the day off, decided to spend it with my girl here. Isn't that right, Judy?" Michonne cooed at a slowly wilting Judith, knowing she would have to take her home soon.

Spencer nodded, "so where's pyscho-husband?"

Michonne snorted before she could catch it. "Stop it. He's not that bad … anymore. And, he's _not_ my husband."

Spencer frowned. "Huh. So, he hasn't made his move yet? That's interesting. I thought he'd be in with you, the second we stopped—"

Michonne cut him off, "we're not like that, I told you. We've never been like that."

"And, like I told you. Just wait. He's plotting. I know it." Spencer smirked met Michonne's withering look.

Michonne rolled her eyes, "your paranoia regarding Rick, is beyond absurd. You know that, right?"

"It's not paranoia, it's my guy-senses. Alpha males can sense when another one is prowling." Spencer announced proudly.

Michonne grinned. "It's cute you consider yourself an alpha male."

Spencer quirked an eyebrow, not enjoying the laughter in her voice. "Cute?"

Shrugging Michonne continued, "yeah, your confidence is adorable."

"You know what? You're just a mean lady with a nice caboose, and I will end this toxic friendship if you don't start being nicer to me." Spencer threw back.

"I'm very nice to you."

"You used to be. Damn! It's the memories that are the hardest part. Well…" Spencer effected a faraway look in his eye.

Michonne cut in again. "Stop it. We agreed we were going to be just friends. No more blurring the lines. Remember?"

"No." Spencer snorted.

"See," Michonne shook her head, "this is why Rick hates you."

Watching Michonne from the corner of his eye, Spencer leaned forward to catch the daisies Judith was losing from her grip as her eyes drooped. "No. this isn't why."

Michonne shifted suddenly feeling slightly awkward. "I—I didn't end things with you to get with Rick, Spence. I stopped because the reason we started wasn't applicable anymore. I didn't know you before, but then I did, and I realised I wanted to be friends with you, get to know you fully, not just—I didn't end things, so the way was free for Rick. I don't want you to think—l"

"Hey-hey, Miche, I'm just messing with you. I'm good with what we are now. We had fun. I mean I had _A LOT_ of fun, but if it's a choice between what we were and who we are? I choose who we are. I'm good being your friend, we both knew what we were. We're friends for life – whatever that means these days." Spencer smiled when he saw the worry fall away from Michonne's features. "But, just so you know, you don't get to dump me when you and Dennis-The-Menace do eventually get together."

Spencer feigned a serious look. "You fight for me, for our friendship. Because he will make an attempt on my life. You know, since I've seen you naked and all."

Michonne tried not to smile, "Rick's not that bad."

Spencer scoffed, "no. _He's worse_."

Michonne began to shift, as she felt Judith slump – sleep finally catching her. "You could try harder with him, you know? You know, try and be less … antagonising? It would make things a lot smoother for all of us."

Spencer looked affronted. "Hey! You took sex away from me, don't take this too! Allow me some happiness woman."

"Why do you like messing with him so much? Rick doesn't enjoy it."

Spencer finger-gunned at Michonne, before grinning wildly. "Precisely. Every time he sees me around you, and he does that aggressive eye-squint and menacing head tilt indicating the over-urging need he's having to choke me with my own intestines, I swear … it's like I hear angels sing."

"Maybe if you—"

Spencer didn't let her finish. "Sorry buddy. With so little entertainment at the worlds end, I have to find joy somewhere, and well … your closed for business now, so my days have opened up."

Scrunching her face up, Michonne skipped over the subtle shade to his words. "Your ridiculous."

Spencer looked back at her. "Only with you."

"Liar." Michonne smiled.

"Mm," was the only response that came as Spencer tilted his face back to enjoy the sensation of the sun once more.

OoOoOoO

As time passed and the afternoon air grew chillier, Michonne gathered her and Judith things together and invited Spencer back for a night of movies and stale popcorn. When he'd readily agreed, all three of them made their way to the Grimes residence.

After settling Judith down for her nap, and removing the slow-cooked stew she'd left on the fire earlier, Michonne plated up three bowls of it for Carl, Daryl and Rick. She then plated two more for herself and Spencer, before carrying them inside to join him on the sofa.

Just as Spencer was about to dig in, Michonne caught him off guard. "So, what's up with you and the new girl?"

Spencer's movement halted, "who?"

"Don't do that, I can read the pheromones all over you." Michonne smirked.

"Maybe that's 'cause I'm sitting next to you?" Spencer smirked back, but Michonne could read his discomfort and she revelled in it.

"Nah. You're blushing." Michonne poked at his chin, and he swatted her hand away.

When the realisation hit her Michonne gasped and grinned, "oh. Oh my god, you like her! Ooh, you like her a lot. You wanna have her babies."

Spencer's cheeks reddened. "Quit. I barely know, Kara."

"Oh, her names ' _Kara_ ', huh?"

"Stop laughin'" Spencer growled,

And Michonne fought valiantly to hold back her amusement. "I'm not, it's cute. It's good to know I didn't ruin you for every other woman left in the world."

Spencer smirked, "I wouldn't say that…"

Michonne narrowed her eyes. "Oh, stop. You know diversion doesn't work on me."

Spencer sighed, "you know? I miss having guy friends. Hanging with them was so much easier."

Michonne poke him in the shoulder, "am I being mean, again?"

"Yes." Spencer pouted.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Truly. I'll stop talking about you and your love for ' _Kara_ '" Michonne couldn't resist sing-songing Kara's name.

"That's it I'm going home. I don't need this crap!" Spencer handed his bowl back to Michonne, but not before taking a massive, final mouthful.

Michonne stopped him before he could really move anywhere. "Okay. Alright. That was the last one. Promise."

Just then they heard the front door, and both turned to see Rick and Carl coming into the house carrying a heavy looking cot-to-starter-bed assembly pack.

As soon as Rick looked up and spotted Spencer he sighed, causing Spencer to grin.

"Hey Rick!" Spencer sighed dreamily.

Rick stared at him solidly for a minute, before flicking his eyes to Michonne. "Why's he in my house?"

Michonne frowned, " _your_ house?"

"Our house." Rick amended quickly. "What's _he_ doing in our house?"

Spencer answered for her. "We're having movie night! Wanna join us Rick? Me and Michonne could squeeze up a little more."

Rick's jaw flexed, "Michonne?"

"It's like he said, it's our movie night." Michonne shrugged.

Now it was Rick's turn to frown, "you're still doing that? I thought you guys broke up?"

Michonne breathed deeply, already tired of the back and forth that was to come, "we're friends, Rick. Just two _friends_ watching a couple movies. Join us?"

"Nah. I'm good." Rick's answer was out of his mouth before she'd finished talking.

"Come on, Rick … _please_."

Rick's eyes flickered to Spencer's before settling back on Michonne's, when they did they were soft and gentle in a way they only ever were with Michonne. "Alright. Lemme' just clean up some."

"Thank you." Michonne gave him a small smile, before frowning at Spencer's smirk.

Rick glanced over to Spencer too, before he leaving the room with a lack lustre. "Yeah."

OoOoOoO

After Rick had retreated up the stairs, Spencer let his antagonising ways rest, turning to genuinely greet Carl. "Hey Carl, how's it going?"

"Spencer. You're here. Again." The monotone lilt to Carl's tone made Spencer chuckle.

"Carl." Michonne warned.

Carl shrugged, unrepentantly. "What? It was just an observation."

Michonne sighed, exhausted with having to do this dance again. "How do we treat guests in this house?"

Carl sighed, but muttered 'nicely.'

"with…" Michonne prompted.

"…with the politeness we wish to receive." Carl gritted.

"Right. So?" Michonne edged.

Carl closed his eyes, trying to channel patience in a way that secretly amused Michonne, as it was the same technique Rick used when talking to the Alexandrians. "Sorry if I was impolite, Spencer. I shouldn't point out the fact you're here more than I am."

"Carl." Michonne reprimanded, and Carl knew he was pushing it.

"Okay, jeez! Spencer knows I'm joking. Right Spencer?" Carl squinted at Spencer, telling him not-so-subtly to answer correctly.

Spencer in return simply smiled. "Sure. He and his dad have the same humour – spiteful and cruel."

Carl nodded, "exactly. Can I go now? I'd rather skip the movie."

Michonne sighed. "Sure. There's a bowl in the oven."

"Cool. Thanks." Carl smiled briefly at Michonne before cutting his eyes to Spencer, slowly walking away.

Spencer turned to Michonne, "this house is so warm. It's like Christmas or a hug.".

Michonne chuckled, "Carl's only snippy 'cause he's hungry."

"and Rick?" Spencer quipped.

"Oh, he just doesn't like you." Michonne exhaled.

OoOoOoO

On his way back downstairs, after he'd cleaned himself up and checked in on Judith, Rick passed Carl as he was heading upstairs with with what was clearly his dinner. Rick's stomach rumbled as he got a whiff of Carl's bowl. "That's smells good."

Carl curved his bowl from Rick's view, "your bowl's in the oven. Use the cloth on the side, I almost burned myself again."

Rick shook his head and chuckled, "every night."

Carl shrugged, "I'm a slow learner."

"You're something, alright." Rick snorted as he continued down.

OoOoOoO

After going to the kitchen and collecting his bowl, Rick made his way into the sitting room and placed himself in the armchair by the window, a seat with a perfect view of the couch Spencer and Michonne were seated on.

Spencer caught on to his tactic easily, "there's space over here Rick, Michonne can budge up if needs be."

"I'm good." Rick squinted back, he then offered a begrudging 'thank you' when he saw the look of disapproval of Michonne's face.

"Sure, you are." Spencer hummed.

Sensing the tension, Michonne tried to distract the two of men before they could come to blows. "Okay, what's the choice? Matrix one or Matrix Three?"

Spencer looked at Rick before he turned to the two DVD cases being held up by Michonne. "The one that comes first is always the best? Don't you think Rick?"

Rick didn't miss a beat. "Depends. Sometimes the sequel exceeds its predecessor."

"So…one then?" Michonne cut in before Spencer could respond.

"Yeah." Both men answered as Michonne moved to pop disk into the drive.

Once Michonne settled back down on the sofa, Spencer stretched his arm along the back of it, Michonne caught the move and threw him a warning look, but she chose to let it go so not to start another bantering session. Rick however, was not so amenable and privately he swore to himself as he watched Spencer's arm lean dangerously close to Michonne's shoulder, that if Spencer's pinkie finger even grazed her, he was going to chop Spencer's entire arm off. Fully prepared to encounter Michonne's wrath.

He believed it would have been be worth it.

OoOoOoO

The movie despite its tension-filled start, progressed smoothly. Spencer eventually abandoned his plot to antagonise Rick any further, Rick abandoned his silent vigil over Spencer's wondering hands, and Michonne abandoned the rigid posture she'd retained, in case she'd needed to dive in to diffuse any of the testosterone fuelled angst that had steadily infused into the room.

Once the movie ended Spencer stretched and stated he needed to go, as he had watch early the next morning. Michonne understood and began scraping what little that had remained from dinner in into a Tupperware box for Spencer to eat before his shift and Rick resented every spoonful he watched Michonne box up, but was also grateful to be rid of his house's intruder once more, so he accepted it as a lesser evil.

On his way out, Spencer gripped Rick's shoulder, and thanked him for a lovely evening. He grinned at the way Rick watched the hand he'd been fantasising about cutting off. Rick tilted his head back to Spencer's face and squinted for a long moment, before gritting out a begrudging 'bye Monroe' moving towards the sink to be out of punching range.

Spencer pressed a kiss to Michonne's forehead as he left, he chuckled at the sound of dishes dropping heavily onto the kitchen's counter behind him. Michonne smiled too before conspiratorially whispering 'say hi to Kara for me.' Spencer's smirk dropped, and he huffed 'shut up' at her before he began off to make his way home.

Michonne returned back to the kitchen where she found an agitated Rick.

"I'm glad he's gone." Rick muttered from his place by the sink.

Michonne snorted, "really? I would never have guessed."

Rick idly moved their bowls around and Michonne could tell he was holding onto something. "I thought after you two ended things, I'd be free of that lanky piss stain, but he seems to be here now more than ever."

"We're friends, Rick." Michonne sighed, the conversation exhausted her instantly.

Rick let out an irritated breath, as spoke before he meant to, "yeah, well I wish ya'll wasn't"

Michonne looked away from Rick's irritated fussing, "it gets lonely not having friends that I don't consider my family. Sometimes I just want to laugh about stupid things, that don't have to be tied up in story where we narrowly avoided death. Spencer's a good guy. He's a good friend. I stopped what we were doing because I wanted to preserve that for as long as I could."

Rick let out a whine that was reminiscent of Carl and Michonne almost laughed. "But he's annoying. He purposely goads me into wanting to kill him."

Michonne shook her head, "no. He needles you, but you'd wanna kill him either way."

Rick tried to hold back a smirk, "I'm not that bad anymore."

Michonne nodded, "there's been improvement. I'll give you that."

There was a beat of silence, until out of nowhere Rick broke it. "Why him?"

Michonne looked up, surprised by his question. "He's the only one I got to know, other than Arron and Deanna."

Rick nodded and waved his hand, as if to move the conversation along, "yeah. Yeah sure. But… _why him_."

"Rick …" Michonne frowned.

Rick groaned, and rushed his hands through his hair relaying his agitation. "No. I know. _I know_. It's none of my business. I have no right to be askin' your business and I've tried real hard not to. I have no place in your business, but…I. I…can't help but feel like it _should_ be my business. It should be my place."

"He saw me." Michonne whispered. "He saw me and he wanted to. He didn't stare at me and then look away when I caught him. He didn't allude to wanting something more from me and then just leave me hanging. He followed through. He allowed me in. Spencer embraced me. I didn't have to fight to know I was wanted. I guess after trying to survive, I wanted that. I allowed myself to have that."

Michonne moved to sit on the nearby stool, knowing that this was likely going to be a lengthy conversation. "I missed my life before here. The life where I was carefree and always buzzing around. I was fun. I…used to be fun. I forgot that person when the world turned bad. I put her away in a box and then I never looked back, but then we found this place and the world was still sort of here. Still spinning, and after we lost what we lost. It was refreshing to breathe again. Spencer flirts. That's just his thing, it's light and fun and it's harmless. I wanted to experience that. He gave me that. Gives. He gives me that."

Rick nodded, and let out a deep breathe. "So you wanna be with him?"

Michonne shook her head again. "No, and he doesn't want to be with me either. He just thinks it's funny to pretend he does, because it's fun to pretend that there's something more than just death and survival these days. We played well together, we just changed the game a little. I didn't want to lose him, once I realised that he was someone who actually made my life a little happier, like Maggie or Carl. Or you and Daryl. I'm not in love with him. I don't want to marry him or have his babies. I just want him to be in my life and add to the happiness we're building here. Doesn't any of that make any sense?"

Rick watched her with thoughtful eyes, "yeah. Sorta. Yeah."

"Isn't that what you have with Jessie?" Michonne tapped him with her foot.

Rick looked away, "no. no it's not."

Michonne's brows furrowed, "then what are you doing?"

Rick sighed and shook his head, "nothing."

"Oh. So, I give you all of that and you still give me 'nothing?' Okay." Michonne sighed and stood to leave.

For some reason, her words and the sight of her walking away from him, angered him. "What do you mean? 'Still give you nothing?' I give you everythan'! Everythan' we have here, we have because I wanted it for _you_!"

Michonne turned at the speed of light to stare him down, with fire in her eyes. "Don't! Don't you dare throw things in my face! We wouldn't have survived out there much longer. At least not as who we were. I didn't want that for us and I won't apologise for it. I was right!"

"I'm not saying you weren't—I'm simply—look." Rick took a breath, "look, all I'm saying is that I give you everythan' I'm capable of Michonne. I give you everythan' I can." He gritted.

Michonne moved to rest her hands on their kitchen island, "and I'm grateful. I am. Truly. But … what more can I say or give?"

Rick frowned. "I don't want your gratitude, Michonne. That's not what I'm askin' for here."

Michonne turned to him, as she felt him move closer to her side. "Then what is it you want? Because you're confusing the situation here, Rick. What's your problem? Because I explained my situation with Spencer. He's my friend and he's staying so. I won't drop him because you don't care for him."

"I'm not askin' you to, dammit Michonne! Just—"

Michonne continued, "look … you obviously don't want to talk and you're always so deliberately evasive about the Andersons-it's like you don't trust-." Michonne stopped herself. "You know what I'm tired, so I'm going to call it a night."

But Rick, didn't want them to end their night like this. "I'm not being evasive," he called out.

Michonne quirked a look at him, "sure you're not."

The tone was so similar to Spencer's it grated him.

"I'm not. I don't have what you have with Spencer, with Jessie. We're not—there and I'm not all that sure I want us to be. I thought I did, but then I didn't and then I just withdrew. I'm not lyin' to you, Michonne. I have nothin' with her. Nothin' but expectations and inevitable disappointment."

Rick rested his forehead on Michonne's shoulder as he spoke, ashamed to admit what he was about to. "I was like you. I missed my old life, I thought I saw the answer in her, but … I was wrong. _So wrong_. And now … I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a situation I made and, I missed my shot—I woke up too late and now…I'm just … stuck. I give you everythan' I'm capable of givin' you Michonne. Trust that even if you don't trust me." Rick whispered the last parts of his sentence.

Michonne didn't want to break his flow, but she'd been confused by him so much of late, needed to understand him again. "Why haven't you said anything? About Jessie? I could have helped."

Rick pulled back to look at her, "helped? Help me what? Disappoint her? Let her down? I don't think so. How would that conversation have gone, huh?"

"I don't know." Michonne sighed.

"Yeah. Well. Me either." Rick moved to step out of Michonne personal space.

"I'm sorry." Michonne said, simply for something to say.

"No. no, this was all me and I know it. It's why I hate—" Rick sighed. "I'm glad you found a friend Michonne. You deserve to smile. To have fun. Hell, we all do. I'm just sorry, you couldn't find that happiness with me."

Michonne rested her hand over his on the counter next to them. "I am happy here, Rick. But it's just a different type. I'm settled with the little family we've made together. I love it. _I'm happy_. No one can challenge that, but you don't get to be my only source of happiness. It wouldn't be healthy, and neither one of us wants to be that co-dependent surely?"

Rick remained quiet. Not looking at the woman in front of him. He simply gazed down at the surface – at their hands – on the counter in front of them.

Rick didn't want to talk anymore, he decided it was time to pull back again, to hold back on everything he'd been meaning to say. "We should go to bed. It's late. You're tired. We should sleep."

Michonne could see him shutting down, but she couldn't understand why. "Rick …"

Rick avoided looking at her, "let's just … get some sleep. Yeah? Let's just come back to things tomorrow."

Michonne sighed, "sure we will. Goodnight, Rick."

Rick nodded not looking at her before for he whispered, "Yeah. Goodnight Michonne."

Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 will be out soon!

Naomi x


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I thoroughly apologise for the delay in positing this update. I finished my final year of uni a couple of months ago (I managed to graduate with honours :D) and honestly I just needed a bit of time away from social media, and my computer in general truthfully. This chapter is a little longer than normal to make up for the wait. The third and last chapter has already been drafted, so I just need to type it up and edit – so it should be posted in a week or so. I apologise for any errors. Hope you guys enjoy! X**

Michonne woke up to the sound of Judith in the room above her, she listened as the little one babbled and clanged lightly against her crib in the quiet morning. She smiled to herself slightly at the thought of her little girl awake and ready to start her day.

Starting her days with Judith was something Michonne found herself unable to live without. She'd grown too accustomed to their rhythm. Judith, and her pure unadulterated innocence provided Michonne with a certain kind of peace she couldn't find anywhere else.

After stretching and preparing her body for the day, Michonne eased her way out of bed and made up the stairs to Rick's room. The same as every morning before, Michonne tapped lightly on Rick's door, listening for a sign or indication she perhaps shouldn't go in. However, when none came she eased her way inside. The moment she did she spotted Judith, who was already stood up and looking for her – primed and readied to be freed, just like every other morning since their time in Alexandria.

The grin on Michonne face caused Judith to shriek in excitement and Michonne gently shushed her as she moved forward to lift the little girl free of her bars. Michonne was so distracted with greeting Judith and trying to keep her quiet, she didn't hear Rick begin to stir behind her until he called out to her. "Hey."

She jumped, slightly surprised by the fact Rick had woken up, his normal routine was to wake up an hour or so after she'd already collected Judith for breakfast and sent Carl out to class. She liked for him to get a little extra sleep, as she knew he went to bed much later than anybody else, often, despite his deceiving utterances of 'goodnight'.

Michonne turned to spot him half-resting on his elbow.

"Hey," Michonne smiled warmly.

Rick smiled back, sleepily-amused at the pouty expression Judith threw him for interrupting her morning routine of escape and cuddles, "I wondered how she got out of here in the mornins'. No wonder she's such a momma's girl. You're gonna spoil her with all that fussin' over her you do."

Rick chuckled, at the way Michonne and Judith appeared affronted on each other's behalf – Judith was reaching the age where she was copying everything around her, it was adorable to Rick the way she perfectly imitated Michonne's quirks and mannerisms. He felt incredibly full inside at the knowledge that Michonne was a role model to his little girl.

Michonne cut through his musing by pressing several gentle kisses to Judith's face and hair, and Rick watched as Judith melted into her like he was sure he would too if he ever got the chance. Experiencing affection from Michonne was one of his greatest wishes in his life, he didn't have many that were a luxury, but that, that was one that made his chest tight with the need for it to come true.

"She's not spoilt, she's loved. Aren't you sweetie?" Judith babbled happily as she pressed her warm cheeks closer to Michonne.

"Jesus, the teenage years with that one are gonna be _rough_ and we're both gonna know who's to blame when she expects the world to revolve around her, aren't we?" Rick chuckled.

Michonne's expression grew somewhat bashful at the warm hint of teasing she heard in his tone. She could freely admit to herself that she liked this softer side of Rick, but she hardly ever got the chance to experience it, to watch him be _light_ like this. The days Rick usually experienced meant that he often came home, either courser than he left or more exhausted than either of them had previously believed possible.

This was nice.

Michonne never got to see him this content or at peace. It was nice for her to witness the change. She worried about him sometimes like he was hers to worry about.

"The only thing I plead guilty to is aiding and abetting escape. Little Judy here is the only one who wakes as early as I do. I'm sorry if I woke you."

Rick groaned as he stretched a little, before shaking he head. "No. It's fine. I like wakin' up to my two favourite girls."

Michonne paused for a moment, pleasantly taken aback by Rick's words. If she were to be honest, she'd expected a shiftier demeanour from Rick after the way they'd left things the night before. That was usually how Rick reacted whenever he felt awkward or too exposed. It was the number one reason that moments like the one they had just shared were so infrequent.

As if right on cue, Michonne spotted the exact moment Rick's brain caught up with his mouth, because seconds later he was turning away and clearing his throat.

Wanting to save him from his awkward dance of clarification that she knew was coming, Michonne changed the subject. "So, what time are you in work today?"

Rick looked at the clock over his shoulder, "not 'til two I think, but I'm gonna head over to the gates this mornin'. But, I should only be gone half the day. It's been quieter lately, kinda unnervin'."

Michonne held back a sigh. ' _Rick is better_ ' she repeated in her head, ' _Rick is better_.' It was a mantra she felt the need to reiterate often – to herself, as well as others. She'd repeated it to Maggie, Daryl, Glenn, Carl, Deanna, Spencer – hell once or twice to Rick himself, and while she did believe he was better than when they had all initially arrived, Rick still always seemed to be looking for something – trouble on the horizon or something to be on edge about.

And, while Michonne did understand his motivations, she couldn't help at times but feel frustrated with him too, because there was always something to be on edge about. There was always going to be trouble on the horizon for them to face off with, which was precisely why she wanted them all to appreciate the quiet, happy moments they had when they had them. It was why she liked spending so much time with Spencer, he knew when to allow himself to be happy.

"Maybe just enjoy it." Michonne tried.

Rick nodded in that unconvinced manner Michonne always saw through. "Yeah maybe."

This time Michonne did sigh, causing Rick this time to instinctively to re-route the conversation. "What's your day lookin' like?" He offered.

Michonne pulled Judith higher on her hip, "I did have a run scheduled for later, but Glenn and Rosita did well yesterday, so I think we'll just end up doing inventory today. I'm not sure if they'll need me though, but I'll probably head over to Olivia's once the kids are where they need to be."

Rick frowned at her plural use of 'kids'. "Where's Judith due at?" Rick inquired.

Michonne smiled a smile so bright Rick instinctively looked away, so not to incriminate himself with the longing he was sure was showing.

"Judy has a date." Michonne hummed into Judith's hair and Rick was sat up in a matter of seconds.

"She has a what now?" Rick squinted.

"A date. A playdate. I told you this days ago." Michonne squinted back, watching as Rick's eyes shifted, as his brain worked to recall the instant.

"I don't remember any of all that. I don't think you did 'Chonne. I'd remember that."

"I told you, you just never remember anything I say." Michonne snorted.

"I remember _everythang_ you say, and you never mentioned anythang about any 'date' I know that. Everythang you say to me is right here." Rick missed the hint of confusion in Michonne's eyes as she watched him point to his heart instead of his head. Her mind seemed incapable of deciphering the odd action, so she forged past the moment that the little voice inside her head told her to analyse further.

"Is it a problem?" she asked beginning to feel a little unsure of herself, under Rick's watchful gaze.

"Isn't she a bit young?"

"For a playdate?"

"Yeah."

Feeling as if she may have overstepped, Michonne tried to right the situation. "Um, alright … I'll let Abbie's mom know—"

Rick squinted. "Wait, ' _Abbie_?' this is a girl 'date?'"

Michonne frowned "Yeah … _Abbie_ is the three-year-old girl who lives on Baggerly."

Rick let out a relieved breath. "Oh. Yeah, that's fine then."

Michonne watched him which an uncertain gaze, before lowering her eyes to Judith's feet as she spoke. "Look, I'm sorry. I forget sometimes that their yours and not mine. I did mention it to you, but I should have asked. So, I'm sorry for overstepping."

Rick almost dislocated his hip in his race to reach Michonne before she could reach for the door, "hey, hey, hey. No, no, no. That's not what that was. Come here." He rushed out, when she didn't stop from pulling open the door, he sprinted over to the door, kicking it shut and stopping a short distance away from her. Before, using a voice he's only ever used with her twice before and both times were during the more tumultuous times in their relationship, back at the prison, when all she did was bring a special kind of anger out of him.

"Come here, Michonne. I'm serious. This is the last time I'm askin'" Michonne quirked an eyebrow in his direction because she knew, that they both knew she could take him or at least give him a run for his money – baby or no baby. But, still his stern expression held firm on his features, as his chest heaved with bottled tension. So, when he tilted his head and looked to be coming to get her, she gave in. Wanting to get whatever it was he had on his chest, off of it and over with.

When she reached him, he took her hand and pulled her over to his bed sitting her and Judith who was still cocooned in her arms, next to him. He didn't overthink his actions as he pulled her closer by her waist, leaving his arm to rest there. Trying to catch her uncatchable eye.

"Will you look at me please?" His voice was a stark comparison to the voice he had used mere seconds before, soft and almost pleading. When Michonne failed to turn to him, Judith peered silently at the both of them – with what Rick believed to be distinctly judgemental eye – Rick inadvertently squeezed Michonne closer to him, resting his cheek on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"It's fine, Rick I should have ask—"

"No, I'm not sorry for what I said—" Rick felt instantly Michonne's attempt to pull away, but he held firm, "—I'm sorry for what I _haven't_ said, because if at any time you feel unequal or inferior to me in their lives, I know I'm truly failing you and them."

"I don't … understand."

"These kids aren't just mine, Michonne. They're ours. We're parenting them together here. This little girl looks to you as her momma and so do I. Before, _just now_ was _just_ me being an overprotective father of a little girl in the apocalypse, but that's why they need you to be the mother you are to them, the one who gets what I don't and encourages them to build lives here. _I'm sorry_ , I thought you understood that you can fight me on things I'm opposed to, in terms of them or anythang else for that matter. I thought we were comfortable like that."

Rick sighed, lifting his head to turn her chin with his fingers, so she was at the very least facing his direction. He spoke softly, "I'm so comfortable with you and we speak mentally so much sometimes, that I forget that maybe sometimes you need my words. So, here they are. You're my equal, Michonne. In every way, there's no hierarchy between us and if there is one sometimes, I'm never the one on top of it. I think we both know that."

Almost against her own will, a small chuckle left her causing Rick to smile in response before he continued. "I'm comfortable with you, Michonne. I'm comfortable and I'm safe, and there's no one I've ever trusted more, in this world or the old one. I want you to feel that with me too, and if for one second you can't stand your ground with me over somethang, then I know I'm doing somethang wrong. The words 'you're not their mother' or 'these kids are _only_ mine' will never leave my lips, 'Chonne. I can promise you that. Please, don't doubt me, _not on this_."

"Okay." Michonne nodded.

Rick nodded back, "Okay."

When Rick pulled away slightly, suddenly aware of how close to her he was, he finally had a moment to take stock of Michonne's attire. She was wearing the teal satin vest and shorts set he'd found for her on found on his last run – well technically, it had been Glenn who had found a chest full on women's nightwear, and it may also technically have been Maggie who had picked it out for Michonne, but Rick himself had been the one to gift it to her along with the matching robe he'd found all by himself.

As he watched her in the moment he couldn't help but think how natural she looked sitting in his room, holding their child protectively without any conscious thought. She looked like she was supposed to be there, like she belonged in that room with him and the thought made something pang in his chest.

He really loved this woman, and she'd likely never know it.

Michonne remained oblivious to Rick's inner ponderings, as she played with Judith's toes. Soon breaking the silence that had settled. "You hungry?"

Rick's eyes found hers. "For food?"

Michonne looked up at him for the first time in several tortuous minutes and chuckled. "Yeah Rick, for food …"

Rick felt the heat rise to his cheeks. "Uh, nah thanks. I'm good. I'mma grab an apple later."

Michonne nodded, as she moved to the door. "Okay. Well I'm going go wake Carl and take her down."

"Alright, I'mma be down in about twenty. Hey, are we clear on a few thangs now?"

"Yeah, we're clear."

Rick nodded, "good."

OoOoOoO

When Rick finally emerged downstairs, it was to find Michonne spoon-feeding Judith her porridge and Carl half-slumped over his bowl with his nose dangerously close to grazing its contents. He ran his hand over Carl's hair earning grunt from the younger boy, Rick raised an eyebrow at Michonne.

"What's wrong with this one?" He asked.

"I think _someone_ stayed up too late reading comic books and raiding the fridge." Michonne smiled, and Rick was glad to see her openness back.

"Oh really?" Rick smirked.

"Oh yeah," Michonne grinned, "forgot he had class. _Someone_ thought yesterday was a Friday."

Rick chuckled, it was a running joke between them now, how frequently everyone tried to keep some form of date which ultimately failed to stick with most of the residents.

"But how is it Tuesday? That doesn't make sense, that would mean Thursday was six days ago – isn't that mathematically wrong?"

Both Michonne and Rick turned to look at Carl then, confusion written all over their expressions, Rick was the first to speak, Michonne not far behind.

"Damn son, maybe you need _extra_ classes?"

"I think it's a good thing you have class today, Carl." Michonne said more diplomatically.

Carl scowled at both of them as they began laughing in earnest at his pain.

Just as Rick was about bend down to press a kiss Judith's head, a hairsbreadth away from Michonne, there was a knock. Rick frowned and made his way towards the front door, his frown however quickly morphed into a scowl when he spotted who it was on the other side through the curtain. As he opened the door his mood was significantly darker than in the moments beforehand.

"Monroe? What the hell—" Rick began, but Michonne was around the corner before Rick could get fully into his flow.

"Spence?" Michonne quizzed.

"Hey Miche, I got those things you asked for …" Spencer trailed off to look between Rick and Michonne, after he spotted the subtle shake of Michonne's head. Michonne squeezed around Rick to reach for the closed brown bag Spencer held out toward her. The quick hug of gratitude she gave him made Rick's jaw clench.

"Oh. Right, thanks. I owe you one." Michonne winked.

Rick swiftly eased Michonne behind him again to put some comfortable 'Rick distance' between them. He was just about to inquire about what was in the bag when he spotted Jessie making her way towards them, barely managing to fight the fall of his face.

Somehow Jessie had inadvertently succeeded in becoming the one-person Rick wanted to see even less of than Spencer Monroe.

He wanted to groan as he watched her walk up the stairs, towards his already crowded porch.

"Morning." Jessie chirped, she made sure to smile at everyone but the majority of her focus remained on Rick, who seemed to look everywhere but at her directly.

Michonne and Spencer both replied at the same time, with an equally cheery 'morning Jessie.'

Rick however was slower on the uptake and much less enthusiastic than the others. "Hey, Jessie. Good … mornin'"

The air amongst the four of them became slightly stilted and Spencer was the first to try to break it.

"Hey Miche, I found some things up in the attic at number fourteen, they're dusty but they seem good. You free later? You can bring baby samurai."

Michonne nodded, secretly relieved to have someone break the awkward smiles that were being tossed around. "Sure. I haven't got anything else planned."

Rick turned to face Michonne and frowned, failing to care that he was essentially turning his back to the other two on his porch. "I thought you had plans with Rosita and Glenn?"

Michonne shifted, feeling slightly under the spotlight, "I told you, they might not need me today, and anyway I won't be there all day even if I do go."

Rick turned back to Spencer to throw him an accusatory glare. "You know … you sure are here a lot Monroe, you ain't got nothin' else to do? Or is chasin' women the only thing you're good at? Cuz … I could fix that for you, you know … If you needed?" There was a vaguely ominous tone to his words.

"Rick." Michonne clipped, But Rick didn't allow his eyes to move from Spencer's.

Rick tilted his head and Spencer's eyes sparkled. Rick continued, "what? I can't ask why this ingrate is always on my doorstep? Lurkin' like a stray nobody wants."

Spencer chuckled, delighted Rick had given him an in to deliver his first needle of the day. The glint in his eye told Michonne he was about to say something to purposefully trigger what Spencer himself had dubbed a ' _Rick fit_.'

She saw it coming from a mile away and made no move to head it off, Rick was just as bad as Spencer when it came to low blows and petty one-liners. It felt to early to begin refereeing a game she was sure deep down they _both_ sort of enjoyed.

"Well I mean … if anyone knows about chasing women …" Spencer trailed off, as he raised an eyebrow at Rick before he smiled pointedly in Jessie's direction. The reaction was instantaneous, heat and anger raced to Rick's face and through his veins.

"Listen, you jumped up little—"

Michonne closed her eyes to conjure her inner tranquillity. "Rick. Spencer is a guest."

Rick scoffed. "He ain't no guest of mine."

"Maybe not, but he is mine. Now _move_." Michonne seized Ricks arm and tugged him from his position of obstructing the doorway. "Come on in Spence, I just made porridge."

Spencer understood it was Michonne's way of telling him it was too early to play with Rick, and he moved to follow her as she headed for the kitchen. "Awesome. Thanks, Miche."

Rick tilted his head as he watched Spencer moved pass him. His brow furrowed once Michonne words caught up to him. "Wait—what? We're feedin' him now, Michonne?"

"Rick." Michonne sighed.

"He has food, 'Chonne. Why are _we_ feedin' this leech?"

"This community survives on sharing food _communally_ , we borrowed pasta from Sasha last week, it all circles around, Rick. You didn't even want any, so stop fussing. Spencer can have yours and you can have the apple you said you wanted. Stop being petty." Michonne admonished.

The problem was however that petty was all Rick could be when it came to Spencer and his aggravating friendship with Michonne. Truth be told, Rick resented what Spencer represented more than who he was – although that too was at times a factor. But more so, he hated seeing Spencer and Michonne together because it was a constant reminder of how badly he'd failed with Michonne, of how far he'd pushed her down his list of priorities once they'd arrived in Alexandria.

Spencer was a glaring echo of his own narcissism, of how he'd taken Michonne's position at his side for granted, of how he'd believed it was a given she'd always be there and he hated himself for it. Spencer was just an easier vessel at which to channel his anger.

The misunderstanding between him and Michonne that very morning was a symptom of the infection he'd contaminated their relationship with, he'd fostered an environment where insecurity and doubt could grow and plague them both. Where insecurity could plague Michonne and make her position in the nucleus of their family, and that was unacceptable.

Rick hated Spencer because it was easier to, but mostly he hated Spencer because deep down he knew he owed him. Rick was grateful to the oversized brat, and that was the worst part of all the worst parts. Spencer had seen what Rick hadn't, he had paid attention, seen the sadness in Michonne and done something about it, healed it, been a friend when Rick hadn't even noticed.

Rick had been so distracted, broken and lost when he'd first arrived, that he'd forgotten to look to his right and acknowledge the same symptoms in Michonne.

When Jessie came along Rick thought he saw a purpose again, a way to push for the better life Michonne had wanted them all to have. He'd wanted to make Alexandria perfect for her, for her to have the happy security she'd craved. Rick had seen Jessie as a way to achieve that, a way to restore familiarity and to fix the one imperfection – _Pete_ – that kept Alexandria from being everything Michonne had wanted it to be. However, Rick had failed to realise until he was too far down the road, that the 'familiarity' he'd wanted had been for the good of himself and not for Michonne. Rick woke up, but he was too late, Michonne had already turned away from him, but he knew it was him that had turned away from her first.

So now, Rick was left cold and alone in the archway of their kitchen bullied by thoughts about how he should have chosen porridge over an apple. The dark voices inside him jeered and taunted him with the knowledge of all his wrong choices. If he had just noticed the blessing the porridge was at the time, he would be warm, full and satisfied. But instead he was forced to watch Spencer Monroe sit and eat something that should have been his.

OoOoOoO

After plating up Spencer's bowl, Michonne turned to Rick, her eyes flickering over his shoulder and then back to him. Rick frowned when he noticed the tight smile she gave him.

"Rick?" She prompted.

Rick leaned up from his position against the wall and moved forward to gently grasp Michonne's hand, ready to fulfil whatever need she wanted, "yeah?"

Michonne lowered her voice, "ar-aren't you gonna invite Jessie in?"

It took Rick an embarrassing amount of time decode what Michonne meant, until it clicked. Rick's eyes widened an action that earned a snort from Spencer and surprisingly Carl who tried to cover his with a cough, but Rick was too mortified to pay them any mind. How had he completely forgotten about Jessie still standing awkwardly in the doorway?

Rick spun around, "I'm so sorry, Jessie. I … I just spaced there, I—"

Jessie shuffled slightly, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear. "Oh, no it's fine. I get it, it must be so overwhelming trying to keep everyone here alive. I bet I'd forget things too."

Rick cleared his throat, "yeah. Um, do, do you wanna come in?"

Smiling Jessie nodded, "oh, would—would that be alright?"

' _No_ ' Rick wanted to say, ' _no it wouldn't, go home_.'

But instead he said, "of course. I mean, we're already feeding the neighbourhood tom cat, what's one more." Jessie chuckled and Rick forced a smile too.

OoOoOoO

Breakfast was a tense affair with everyone aware of everyone, but pretending things were fine. Carl was talking to Judith while he fed her, as she babbled back. Michonne and Spencer were talking about the new requites – noticeably avoiding mentions of Kara – but all of them could hear Rick and Jessie's stilled conversations, unbeknownst to the two of them.

Michonne was sure that if she could hear them then Spencer and Carl likely could too, and if the occasional cringing look Michonne kept catching from Spencer meant anything, even Spencer was uncomfortable for Rick.

OoOoOoO

"So, how are you? I haven't seen you much lately." Jessie voice was low.

Rick played with the apple he'd been handed, "yeah … its, its been busy out there. H-how's the owl thang goin?"

"Oh it's going well, I finally managed to secure the wings, there not gilded or anything but I was thinking of—"

Jessie's response was abruptly cut off by Carl who had stood up so fast he had alarmed everyone at the table. "Michonne?"

"Yeah?"

He winced. "Can I please go to class now?"

Michonne put down her spoon slowly, "excuse me?"

"Can I please leave for class now? Please." Carl asked again.

Michonne frowned slightly, "um, sure. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Carl grimaced.

The moment Michonne nodded her consent Carl almost bolted out of his seat and to the door, only to come back three seconds later to drop a kiss on Judith and Michonne's cheek, mumbling a barely there 'bye' before he was gone.

Spencer turned to Michonne, making sure to be close enough so only she could hear him. "I thought it was just me who was struggling with Romeo and Juliet over here. It's so awkward but I can't stop observing it, it's like watching a dog eat poop."

The cackle that left Michonne's mouth took even her by surprise, causing Spencer to laugh too and as hard as Michonne tried she couldn't stop, causing Judith to laugh simply because Michonne was, which made Michonne and Spencer laugh harder. Spencer was the first to eventually manage to pull it together, while Michonne got up to stand facing the sink, though Rick could still see her shoulders shake.

Squinting, Rick asked, 'what's so funny?' causing another round of giggles as both rushed out a muffled 'nothing' in response.

Clearing his throat, suddenly feeling tired after his late shift, Spencer stood to leave. "Anyway guys, I've gotta go." He turned to Michonne who had finally managed to collect herself. "I'm gonna take a nap before we go raiding. I'll see you about four?"

She nodded, "yeah, four's good."

"Ok. Well I'm gonna head out. Don't get too wild you crazy kids." Spencer winked at Michonne and threw up a 'deuce' sign as he left.

Michonne had scooped Judith out of highchair and bolted for her room, before Rick could even process it, but he was sure he had heard her laugh as the door had shut.

Once Rick and Jessie were alone, Rick struggled to keep his features neutral, when it became too much he mentioned he was heading out, to which Jessie smiled and offered to head out with him, much to his dismay.

"It's nice out today." Jessie hummed.

Rick scratched his eyebrow. "Yeah, yeah it is."

Jessie swung her arms as she walked, "so … how have you been?"

"uh … good, I've been good. You?" Rick asked, keeping his eyes low.

"I've been okay." Jessie paused, as if preparing herself to say something brave.

"Do you think … maybe … you've been avoiding me a little lately?"

Rick would have happily allowed the ground to swallow him whole, if it meant he could've escaped the conversation he knew he had been avoiding.

Jessie was like a clueless deer grazing in the middle of the road, doe-eyed and completely unaware of the truck speeding her way.

Rick sighed, trying to find his words. "Look I do wanna talk to you, but I can't right now. Do you think I could drop by later? Maybe we could talk some?"

Rick tried to ignore the optimistic glint to her eyes, through fear of being blinded by it.

"Okay. Sure. I'll see you then." She smiled.

Rick swallowed the bile that rose at the helpless hope he read in her eyes.

OoOoOoO

The days in Alexandria, when things were quiet, and nothing was happening moved slowly in the best possible ways. It was just turning four and Michonne had just dropped Judith off at Maggie's, after spending the morning by the pond, and early noon at Judy's playdate, before stopping by Olivia's. It was 'a good day' she mused to herself shortly before her thoughts were broken into.

"Michonne?"

Michonne turned and instantly offered a small smile. "Hey Tobin"

"Can I ask you for a favour?" Tobin quizzed.

Frowning slightly as she tried to imagine what he could want, "um, sure. What do you need?"

Tobin shuffled nervously, "I was hoping to do something special for Carol tonight, but I'm scheduled for the gates later on. Would you …"

Michonne smiled in understanding, "sure. I get where this is going. Sure, why not? I'm free."

"Really? Thanks Michonne, really." Tobin beamed, before pulling her awkwardly into a hug that smothered her slightly.

She patted his arm, "don't worry about it, you can pay me back sometime."

He nodded, "anytime. Seriously."

"I'll see you around." Michonne offered a small wave before heading off.

"Yeah, bye Michonne." Tobin called out behind her.

Just as Michonne was about to turn to head to number fourteen to catch up with Spencer, she spotted Rick sneaking over to Jessie's house. She was very sure ' _sneaking_ ' was the only way to describe it as Rick seemed to be looking over his shoulder every step he took, as if he were scared somebody would see him.

" _who is that for_?" Michonne muttered to herself, irritated for no reason she could think of.

She turned away before she saw him make his way to the door, already on her way to join Spencer in digging through some poor souls forgotten belongings.

OoOoOoO

The act of rootling through an abandoned attic for clothes, soon turned in to the act of Michonne ranting about Rick, while Spencer sat flicking through old vogue magazines he'd found in boxes.

"I don't get! Is there some sort of guy code regarding blonde widows that I don't know about?" Michonne angry-whispered.

Spencer snorted, "if there were, you think me and Rick would be sharing notes?"

Michonne rolled her eyes. "Oh. Right. I forgot."

Spencer sighed, as he watched Michonne angrily stuff several men's jeans into her take-home-box. He put his magazine down, as he thought about what to say to her and just _how much_ he should reveal. He knew without a doubt where her irritation was coming from, but he wasn't certain if _she_ was aware of it. If she wasn't he knew she was going to fight him on every point he made until she saw it for herself.

"You know I'm _always_ down for a ' _Rick is a jerk_ ' party, but what's going on? You came over here and you didn't even sneak me some of those Carol cookies. You know you're my only supply after Rick told her to hand them out to every other person here but me." Spencer shook his head disappointedly, "he's so petty."

Michonne smiled slightly despite herself. "Sorry."

Spencer smiled back too, glad there was a crack. "Sorry doesn't fix my situation but talking to me might fix yours though."

Michonne fidgeted with a set of bracelets in her hand before putting them in with her stash. "It's silly. I don't even know why I'm so mad."

Spencer nodded, "tell me anyway."

She paused for a long minute before she began, it felt a little odd to be talking to Spencer in this way, but he looked nothing short of focused and concerned as he watched her, so she trusted her gut and trusted him.

"Rick told me all this stuff last night, about how he didn't have anything with Jessie, that he wasn't interested. But then today, I see him sneaking into her house."

"And?..." Spencer encouraged.

"'And' What?" Michonne huffed, slightly affronted.

Spencer frowned, " _that's it_?"

Michonne glared then, "what do you mean ' _that's it_?'"

"I mean what other details are there to this story? How'd you know he wasn't just dropping by or something, maybe he was borrowing a hammer?" Spencer shrugged.

"What? I don't, but … that isn't the point here." Michonne stuttered, a little flustered by Spencer unbiased and _faint_ defence of Rick.

" _Okay_ …" Spencer said slowly, his tone triggering a defensive need for her to explain herself.

"I don't care that he went to see her. I don't care about whatever he's doing with her. But I do care that he lied to me, that he's done nothing but lie to me since we've gotten here. We're supposed to be—"

"A couple?" Spencer edged.

"A team." Michonne interceded. "We're so supposed to be a team."

Spencer sighed again, "I'll never admit this to _him_ , but you guys are team and a pretty efficient one at that, why are you second-guessing that now?"

In a desperate attempt to take the heat off of herself, Michonne tried to curve the conversation, "so, how's Kara doing?"

Spencer's eyes narrowed "what? That's not what we're discussing here."

"Tell me about her, we never talk about you." Michonne simpered, to which Spencer quirked an eye brow because they both knew that that was a lie.

"Miche…" Spencer groaned.

"I'm just saying, I think it's weird you don't talk to me about her—"

"Fine, we'll talk about Kara all you want next time, right now we're talking about you and why you're spiralling over something that yesterday wouldn't have even fazed you?" Spencer watched as her eyes darted, avoiding his.

"Now, stop trying to derail the evitable, put on your big girl undies and just answer the damn question." Spencer finished exasperatedly.

Michonne paused before speaking, and Spencer watched as her face fell and crumpled in on itself in sadness. Immediately he crawled over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, as she rested her head on his left one. "What if—what if this whole Anderson debacle is his way of letting me know, that he doesn't need me anymore. What if I'm holding him back? Maybe he wants Jessie, but just wants to protect my feelings."

Spencer scoffed "Rick doesn't want Jessie."

Michonne's stomach sank at her own thoughts, "but maybe he does, we don't know."

Spencer shook his head, knowing that although she couldn't see it, she could feel it. "No, _you_ don't know. Everybody else is very much aware of where Jessie stands, I'm sure deep down even Jessie by this point."

"And where's that?" Michonne questioned.

Spencer's response was instantaneous, "alone, without a Rick to piss on."

Michonne paused for a solid moment before a chuckle escaped her, "you know that isn't the saying right?"

"Mm," Spencer replied, "mines better."

"Maybe. I doubt Rick or Jessie would agree though."

Spencer scoffed once again. "That's cause Rick's incapable of appreciating anything …" Michonne 'mm'd' in response as Spencer continued. "…except _you_ of course."

That brought Michonne up short and she turned to meet Spencer's soft gaze. "Huh?"

"Wow. You _really_ don't see it do you?" Spencer grinned.

"See what?" Michonne asked turning her eyes back on the box she was to return home with.

"That he's in love you … _how are you missing that_?"

"Spencer—" Michonne began to huff as she tried to pull away, but quickly Spencer's big hand came up smushing her face a little, as he rested her head back down on his shoulder.

"No look," Spencer began "I know I joke around and everything, but seriously … he worships you and everyone, but you can see that. _Everyone_."

"I've told you it's not—" Michonne tried, but Spencer finished her words for her.

"—like that. I know, but _maybe_ it is." The words were said softly as if to get her to hear them, as the words were said, not as she interpreted them to be.

"I—" she started, but Spencer cut in again.

"Ask him."

Michonne's response was lightning quick. "No."

"What's the harm? Ask him. Put him out of his misery. It'll make the community a much safer place." Spencer snorted.

"I—" Michonne began, ready to remind him, she had guard duty.

"I can cover your Tobin shift tonight. It's all good." Spencer smirked, as her eyes narrowed.

"Why are you doing this? You hate Rick." Michonne asked, suddenly suspicious of her gut and Spencer.

Spencer sighed, "we're friends right?"

Once Michonne had nodded, he'd continued, "and … _friends_ want friends to be happy, and I don't _hate_ Rick … do I think he's bit of a psychopath? Sure. But, I know he's not a complete psycho, because I know he'd die for you in a second. So, he's not totally irredeemable, _I guess_."

Michonne paused, cataloguing the nicest thing she'd ever heard Spencer say about Rick, it gave her hope that there could be a cease fire between the two of them one day.

"Aww, you like him." Michonne grinned, as she sat up, making a goofy face at Spencer – which he forced himself not to smile at, as she poked at his chin.

"Hey! No, Stop that." Spencer growled.

"It's okay, he kinda grows on you, huh?" Michonne chuckled.

Spencer pushed her body away from him, causing her to fall over into a bundle of giggles. "Listen. You need to go before I change my mind, which is going to be soon at the rate you're racing through my nerves. Go."

Michonne laughed, until his words sobered her, causing her to sit up suddenly.

"What should I say?"

Spencer shrugged, "just growl at him. That's how him and Daryl communicate right?"

Michonne rolled her eyes as she pulled him in for a quick hug, she then stood to grab her take-home-box to go, her mind was racing. Spencer's voice followed her out the door, "and don't forget my damn Carol cookies!"

OoOoOoO

The minute Michonne opened the door to their home, she spotted Rick coming out of the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand, he smiled when he saw her until he saw the unsettled look in her eyes.

"You okay?" Rick asked, concern touching ever crease of his face.

Michonne only nodded, Rick nodded too and took a bite of his sandwich, the moment he did Michonne finally found her words.

"Rick,"

"Mmm?" He murmured still watching her.

"Do you love me?"

In an instant, Rick's eyes widened, and he began violently choking on the bite he'd taken, after he had it swallowed whole and failed to chew.

Her question rang loudly in his ears, as she slapped him hard on his back, trying to help him free his airway.

 _'Do you love me?'_

His silent yells went unheard, until he rasped out a broken _'more than anythang.'_

 **Thanks for reading! Final update coming soon!**

 **Naomi x**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm sorry this final update is a couple weeks or so later than expected. It got super long and editing was _a lot_. So, as an 'I hope you can forgive me' here's two chapters for the price of one :)**

 **There's loads of dialogue in these, but I think you guys know that about me by now lol.**

 **As usual, apologies for any errors or mistakes.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!**

 _'More than anythang.'_

The world around Michonne seemed to screech to a halt the instant Rick's words registered in her ears, his answer short-circuiting her system. Those three small words floated out of his mouth, and into the atmosphere around them. Each word falling and settling around her shoulders, drowning all of her senses.

Standing rooted to the spot, Michonne's static breathing resembled the state of her thoughts. Despite the bluntness of her question and Spencer's surety in the matter, Michonne hadn't _actually_ expected for Rick to say ' _yes_.'

His unwavering honesty had thrown her through a loop, and Rick was faring little better.

After taking a brief minute of shock for himself, Rick hesitantly turned his head, running his eyes over the woman who always had a knack for surprising him and catching him off-guard. He noticed the way she appeared to be almost looking passed him. She looked to be searching his words, analysing their meaning with a diligence and precision only Michonne could.

Rick turned away, aware that in due course her system was going to come back online and that with that system reboot she was going to have more than a few questions for him.

Questions, Rick recognised he was going to have to answer this time, because he knew if they were going to make it through this moment and hopefully passed it, he couldn't run away from her anymore.

The two of them stood in their kitchen silently, both trying to regulate their breathing for varying reasons. Eventually, Rick straightened from his slouch against the countertop, reaching for a nearby glass. After filling it up with some water, his eyes flitted to the stairs where above both children were huddled away in their rooms – Judith asleep, while Carl was likely knee deep in the comics he pretended to be too old for.

Rick briefly wondered if his eventual conversation with Michonne would remain consistent or if they'd be interrupted. A small part of him – despite himself – sort of hoped they would be, just so he could buy himself a little more time to get his thoughts and his words together. Rick actively forced himself not to look in Michonne's direction again, instead choosing to take large guzzles of water to ease both the literal and figurative lumps in his throat.

Rick gently moved from underneath Michonne's hand which was still rested stiffly on his back. From the corner of his eye, Rick noticed that Michonne didn't even seem to register it as her hand remained frozen in the same position, bizarrely suspended in mid-air. He refilled his glass and took stronger gulps, trying to supress his own questions that were flying around inside of his head. The ones that were taunting him and questioning if he'd broken her or equally worse, their friendship.

OoOoOoO

To say Michonne had taken him by surprise would be a severe understatement, he struggled to comprehend the drastic turn his day had taken. Rick had actually been feeling pretty positive about things. He'd been feeling _good_ , before Michonne had come home and abruptly shaken their foundation with her spontaneous question.

He'd been feeling steadier on his feet and in fuller control of his life for the first time in months. The kids had been fed and were in their rooms, he'd found some of Michonne's favourite kind of toothpaste on the spontaneous run he'd done with Daryl. He'd had a pretty good early afternoon too, he'd spent a couple of hours watching the gate and shooting the breeze with Abe before finally visiting Jessie, managing _finally_ to say the words that he'd been desperate to say out loud for months now. Perhaps, since the prison.

The memory of his encounter with Jessie filtered through his mind, as he waited for Michonne to come back to him and break their silent embargo. Rick knew she had to be the one to do it, he felt he'd already said enough. He didn't want to pressure or accost her any more and, in some ways he was taking a minute to psych himself up to another tough conversation.

Rick thought back to the previous hour or so ago, when he'd discretely made his way to Jessie's house, wanting to avoid any and all observing eyes of his actions. He hadn't wanted to fuel any more of the gossip that was already swirling around Alexandra's compound about his and Jessie's relationship. Rick knew that if he himself was aware of the whispers, Michonne must have been too. He cringed as thinking of the way most of these people probably looked at him, it hurt to think of Michonne seeing him in the same way, through their mistrustful and disgusted gazes. He had known he'd needed to dig himself out of the hole he'd dug himself into. Rick had felt compelled to right his wrongs, instead of just looking the other way, hoping they'd right themselves.

By the time Rick had reached Jessie's door, the tension he'd held throughout his walk over had mounted tenfold, but he'd been lucky. He had only had wait ten seconds after knocking before it'd swung open, revealing a warm-smiling Jessie whose happy expression had made Rick's skin itch.

After she'd invited him in he'd barely made it four paces, before he'd turned to face her, already beginning to speak. Rick had just wanted to get everything over and done with, he'd wanted to dead whatever the non-thing was between them, before it killed the only real thing he had.

OoOoOoO

 _"Jessie, I'm gonna tell you somethang that I know is probably gonna hurt you, but I also think you deserve to hear it. Look, there's someone I'm in love with. I'm in love and I, I gotta see where it goes, where I can take it." Rick had watched as the duelling emotions of confusion and – faint-echoes of – hope had played out in Jessie's eyes and he'd known he had needed to snuff all traces of both out. To leave her with no doubt of what it was he was saying._

 _No confusion. No hope._

 _"I can't be someone whose there for you anymore. You can't just come over anymore and not … not because I think she'd mind, but because_ I do _. You – and this isn't in_ any _way your fault but – you remind me of the worst parts of myself." Jessie had flinched like he'd raised his hand to her and the sight of it had made him question if he was really any different from men like Pete or Shane, but he'd pushed passed the discomforting question. Knowing that he had no choice but to continue and finsh._

 _Rick had lowered his head, to shield himself from her hurt and his own shame. "You represent a past, that when I really think about it wasn't all that good to me and I forgot all that when I got here. I got caught up in myself, in my head. I thought I'd wanted that life, despite the fact I was already startin' to build a new one. I started self-destructin' and sabotagin' everythang, when all I wanted was for here to be perfect for—" Rick sighed as he tried to reel his thoughts back in and stay focussed._

 _"I'm sorry. My mouth's movin' quicker than my brain is right now." Rick had cleared his throat. He'd decided to start again. "I forgot that the life—the man I remembered died, when the dead started livin'" Rick had looked up and locked his eyes on Jessie's. "The man I was back then was weak and the man I've been with you has been too, but I don't wanna be that way anymore. I wanna to build the life I want, not the life I'd conditioned myself to want."_

 _Jessie had shaken her head, as if trying to clear it to understand what Rick was saying. "But…"_

 _Rick had inhaled a heavy breath, already aware of what she was thinking. "I know. I know." Rick ran a hand over his jaw. "I dragged you into this and I'm sorry. I know I haven't exactly been the 'good guy' here, but I need to find a way to be one. To a man whose worth somethang."_

 _Clarity had quickly begun to materialise on Jessie's face, "you mean for Michonne, don't you?"_

 _Rick had straightened at that, deciding to face the question head on. "For myself and for my kids, but yes ultimately … for Michonne. She's worth the effort even if I fail."_

 _Rick had known in his heart that even if Michonne had never reciprocated his affections, Jessie was burnt ground. Rick would have never felt at peace in a relationship where he'd committed so many sins and transgressions to become a part of it. It was why – despite Jessie's clear indications of her willingness – their relationship had never progressed beyond two very ill-advised kisses on his part._

 _Rick was suddenly unafraid to admit to himself in that moment, that even if Michonne was never truly his, he would always be hers. He'd come to terms with that a while ago, but it was the first time since he'd figured it out that the weight of that knowledge hadn't terrified or suffocated him. Rick wondered how Jessie had come to the conclusion of Michonne so quickly though, especially since it had taken him months to recognise his devotion. "How did you—"_

 _"I'm not an idiot, Rick. I know when a guy's— I mean, the way you are with Spencer despite the obvious interest he has in that new girl. I just … I guess, I just wanted to know for sure that you didn't—well … I guess I do now." Jessie had sighed._

 _Guilt had begun eating its way around Rick's body like a parasite. "I was selfish with you, and I was wrong for draggin' you into somethang you had no business being in. You were always gonna be out of your depths with me, I should have left you alone." Rick had then shaken his head in frustration, seeming to talk more to himself than to Jessie in that second._

 _But still, Jessie had wrapped her arms around herself, evidently bruised by Rick's blunt statement. "You mean with Pete?" Her whispered question had caused Rick to look at her, shocked she'd think he'd ever have meant_ that _. There had been hurt in Jessie's eyes and while Rick hadn't wanted to let it sway him from his honesty, he had still been appalled she'd thought that he'd be proficient in that sort of cruelty, to be capable of condemning her to a life of fear and abuse with a man who'd disgusted him._

 _Rick had shaken his head fervently. "No. No, not at all. But … I think we can both agree that that situation could have been handled a lot better by anyone other than me."_ 'Like Michonne' _a part of Rick's brain had supplied needlessly._

 _Running his hand across his stubble again, Rick's eyes had left Jessie's and fell on the door, it had seemed like a life raft in that instant. "I've made a lot of mistakes since being here Jessie. I need to acknowledge that in order to move on, to grow. I've been hidin' from my problems for way to long. Stickin' my head in the sand hopin' everythang would fix itself, but I've gotta be the one to fix it."_

 _"Is that so?" The words had held an inherent sarcastic lilt, but Jessie's voice had been devoid of any tangible emotion._

 _"Yeah, I've made a lot of bad choices Jessie." Rick had answered simply._

 _Jessie's had eyes scanned Rick's, despite his obvious avoidance. "And, I was the centre all of them, right?"_

 _"You were … one of them." Rick had corrected diplomatically. "But, none of this is on you, Jessie. I know I'm probably explainin' thangs poorly, but I hope you know that?"_

 _Jessie had nodded, but hadn't allowed her eyes to linger in Rick's direction any longer, and secretly he'd been grateful for that. Rick hadn't wanted to be reminded of the massive disappointment he was in a Lori.2.0 vessel._

 _"You don't have to stay any longer. In fact, I think it's probably best you don't." Jessie had scratched out, her voice had sounded thick to both their ears._

 _Rick had nodded, knowing her sadness was likely turning to anger but that she was too proud to show it. Rick had understood her need to protect her emotions from him, he didn't deserve them, and he was glad she'd realised it too._

 _He'd made a fool out of her and an idiot out of himself, he wasn't in a position to become indignant when faced with her righteous irritation._

 _"I am sorry, Jessie." Rick had said as he had reached the door and pulled it open._

 _"Please, Rick. Just … go now. Please." Jessie had hushed out._

 _Rick had left without looking back, and despite the guilt and shame coursing through him, he had finally felt lighter._

 _More at peace with the world._

 _Less than two hours later, Michonne had turned his emotional state back upside down and he'd felt like he was drowning again._

OoOoOoO

The longer Michonne remained locked in her head, the more she began to doubt her ears, she began wondering to herself if Rick had understood her question, maybe she needed to clarify. When she spoke again, he nearly dropped his glass. When he saw her notice the way his hand shook slightly, he chose to lower it onto the counter.

"No." Michonne shook her head, trying to shake the fog that was clouding her brain. "No, not as your friend, or roommate, or fellow survivor. As a woman, as someone you actively want. Do you _love_ me?" Michonne felt ridiculous, like she was an awkward teenager back in high-school, trying to find out if the boy _liked_ her or liked-her-liked-her.

When Rick finally turned back to her, his eyes were a burning cobalt flame of emotion she couldn't read. "More. Than. I. Can. Say." He punctuated, before shrugging and stuffing one hand in his jeans as the other ran through his hair, messing it up slightly. "I know you don't understand it, but my answer is my answer and it won't change. If you re-ask me a million more times, in a million more ways. My answer is still gonna be the same."

Michonne felt woozy and in seconds she was bent double with her hands on her knees as she tried to stop the room from spinning. Being hit with the power of Rick's declaration left her feeling suddenly severely unprepared. Within seconds Rick was by her side, hovering close but not touching her, too afraid he wouldn't be allowed to anymore. "I think I need to sit down." Michonne breathed out unsteadily.

Deciding to bite the bullet, Rick spoke on instinct. "Come here, I'll carry you."

Michonne straightened slightly, "the sofa is less than nine feet away, just help me over— _Rick?_ What are you—"

Rick didn't let her finish, he simply scooped her up, making her feel both precious and ridiculous at the same time. "I can walk, Rick." Michonne whispered.

"You don't need to." Rick whispered back.

Michonne smiled despite the swirling feelings inside of her. "This seems … a little extra."

Rick snorted. "You're 'a little _extra._ ' I declare my love for you and your first reaction is to wanna pass out? Pretty sure, _that's_ gonna leave a dent in my confidence."

With a gasp, Michonne laughed despite herself. "Rick! That's—that's not funny."

Rick chuckled too. "What? Too soon? I was hopin' we could laugh about it and never bring it up again?" At seeing the smile on Michonne's face fade a bit as he neared the sofa, Rick sighed. "Too late for that?" He asked, as he gently settled her down, so she could rest her feet on top of the coffee table in front of her.

She nodded, causing him to sigh again. "worth a try, huh?"

"Yeah." Michonne patted his back in consolation. "It was worth a try."

"Was it too much? What I said?" Rick stared unseeingly at the table in front of them.

Michonne shook her head, "it was … unexpected. It was beautiful, hearing … hearing you speak with all that assured honesty, it— _it was beautiful_ , but still … it was just so …"

"Unexpected." Rick helped to supply.

"Right." Michonne sighed

They sat in silence for a few beats, both trying to figure out where to start to unpack the box neither of them expected to receive.

Rick was first to try, "is—was it a bad thang? A 'bad' unexpected?"

"No, Rick. _No_. I just … I think I need to catch up to how we got here. I mean, you've never shown any interest in me like that."

Rick quirked an eyebrow at Michonne then, knowing full well she'd caught him on a number of occasions admiring her figure when he thought she wasn't looking. Michonne caught on to his doubt but dispelled it quickly.

"No, Rick. I don't count your _little looks_. Daryl does it too, it doesn't mean anything, it's just … men being men. Attraction doesn't equal love."

Her words pulled him up short. "Wait. What?"

"I just don't get how I missed this, I know you better than anyone, I used to pride myself on it. Then you … changed and things changed, and I accepted it. I changed with you, but then you went back and then—I don't know. Maybe I lost track. Do you think that's what it is? I stopped knowing you?" Michonne seemed genuinely distressed at the thoughts she was having, so Rick quickly sought to put her back at ease.

"No. Nobody has _ever_ known me better, I meant what I said this mornin.' Now probably more than ever. Now, what was that other thang you—"

"Rick, focus. The fabric of my reality is shifting, and I need your focus here, alright?" Michonne blew out a steadying breathe.

Rick huffed, a little more preoccupied by Michonne insinuation about Daryl, but he knew he had to put that aside for a little while.

"Alright. I'm here. What do you need?" Rick submitted.

Michonne sat for a moment, searching for where she wanted to start first. "Ok. When? When did you start …" she trailed off hoping he knew what she was asking, and like always he instinctively did.

"Well … I guess, maybe the prison. But I think I only fully worked it out properly about three months ago." Rick offered, his voice quiet but sure.

Michonne frowned. "I started dating Spencer _two_ months ago."

Rick chuckled which only caused Michonne's frown to grow deeper. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. That … wasn't great timin' on my part."

Michonne rested her hand onto Rick's forearm, while Rick kept his eyes low. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Rick sighed deeply. "Nah, it wasn't your fault. As the saying goes 'you snooze, you lose.' Right?"

Michonne could only smile sadly at him in response.

"I'm the one whose sorry, Michonne. It took me too long, longer than it _ever_ should've for me to see you. You've been right here, this whole time and I just … missed it." Rick turned to face Michonne direction, while still failing to actually meet her eyes.

Michonne snorted. "Well, apparently I've missed a lot too."

Rick chuckled. "Yeah …"

Michonne fought for her words, as the silence between them got louder. "I thought—there were moments, I guess, where maybe I thought … there might have been something, but then they just never flourished. I figured I'd imagined them. I believed that those moments were just … passing aberrations or something."

Rick finally met her gaze. "What do you believe now?"

"I don't know. I'm don't know if … if I _believe_ you yet." Michonne shrugged.

Rick frowned, "I'm not lyin,' Michonne. I wouldn't, not about this."

Michonne nodded, knowing all that was true. "I know, I know that. It's just … a lot."

"What do _you_ want?" Rick tried.

"I don't know." Michonne sighed.

Nodding his head in understanding, Rick braced himself for what he was about to ask. "Do you …" Rick croaked, before clearing his throat to try again, "do you think I could be someone? Someone you look at … in the same way you looked at Spencer."

Michonne began to shake her head and Rick was sure the disappointment would end him. "Rick, I looked at Spencer, like I looked at Spencer. If we—if it were _you_ , I'd look at you, like I look at you."

Relief flooded Rick's system like a leaky submarine.

Michonne snorted, "well I guess, I know why you hate Spence like you do."

Rick gave a short snort in response. "I don't hate that over-grown goat herder."

Michonne laughed at that, finding that insult one of Rick's best. She was almost disappointed Rick hadn't had the opportunity to say it in person, because Spencer's face would have been hilarious to her and endlessly satisfying to Rick.

"He's just … I don't know. I suppose I've envied him for so long, it's kinda a habit now. Also, he's a _real_ asshole." Rick finished.

Michonne grinned. "He is, but you kinda get used to it. It becomes charming after a while. You know, you two actually have a lot in common."

Rick squinted at Michonne in a way that made her want to laugh again. "I honestly doubt that."

"You do. You're both stubborn, strong-willed, protective, _petty_ , funny, kind, _surprisingly gentle_. And honestly, you both do your best to make sure I never feel alone. You both make me happy."

Despite himself Rick smiled. "I'm glad. I want you to have all you need, Michonne. _Everythang_ I do is to ensure that."

"I know that, I do." Michonne smiled back.

OoOoOoO

"Oh, I forgot—I got you somethang." Rick grinned, as confusion washed across Michonne's features. She watched Rick dig deep into his back pocket, before pulling out a small silver and green roll. As she took it from him a balloon-like feeling inflated inside her as she realised what it was.

"Mints?" Michonne giggled, "Is this in place of the toothpaste you promised me?"

"Yeah—well no … I got you your spearmint toothpaste too, I found them this morning. I know how much you love—" Rick's words were halted by Michonne's mouth on his.

She'd caught him by surprise again, but this time he was quicker to catch up. Their kiss wasn't flashy. It wasn't fast or hungry. It was soft and careful, experimental, but in no way rushed. It was a perfect moment of peace for the both of them.

Neither thought about it, neither second-guessed. Both just enjoyed the feeling of finally finding the home they'd been searching for. Rick lifted his leg to cover hers, where her legs were still crossed on top of the coffee table, to be closer and absorb more of her.

The moment felt like an accumulation of all the little moments they'd shared. The ones Michonne had felt, but never truly understood and the ones Rick had understood but ran from. Now however, Rick was done running. He was ready to live the life that was his, the life Michonne had helped him to rebuild.

For Michonne, something had finally broken and clicked back into place, the balloon inside her popped from the sheer amount she felt.

She finally believed it, believed that the beautiful, yet broken warrior in front of her loved her. Cared for her. Valued her.

 _He'd thought about her._

She knew how to answer the question now of what she wanted. She wanted Rick. She wanted everything, everything he had and everything he was. He was truly stunning to her now. Now, she could see all of him in the light. She finally saw all of him, and it was a sight that took her breath away.

After a moment Michonne pulled away, watching as Rick's eyes eventually fluttered open. She wanted to laugh at the way he resembled a Disney princess, awakening from spell – awed and slightly dazed. It was slightly flattering.

However, the moment she spoke his face changed.

"I don't think this is going to work." She breathed.

Michonne saw as Rick's expression appeared to shatter into a million pieces of disappointment and resignation. He immediately pulled back, awkwardly lifting his leg back from over her.

Rick sat up and nodded keeping his eyed low and firmly away from Michonne's once again, but she was still able to read the hurt in them. "Okay. I get it, don't worry. I understand."

Michonne sat slightly puzzled at the dramatic changed in his behaviour for a few seconds before she realised the miscommunication. Pulling her legs from the table and sitting up; Michonne edged forward and placed her small palm on his cheek, watching as his eyes inadvertently shut, before opening to focus on their aligned feet.

Michonne's voice was gentle when she spoke, similar to the way Spencer had spoken to her this evening. She wanted Rick to hear _her_ , not the words he'd collated together with faulty data, but her. She needed him to hear her under the chorus of beratement she could see screaming inside of him.

"I meant logistically, lot literally. I'm not turning you away, Rick. I'm here and … I'm yours. If—if that's still something you wanted?"

The unabashed hope that bloomed on Rick's face, touched her. She was amazed by all she'd somehow failed to see, all she'd missed. This man loved her, he truly _adored_ her and the sudden ferocity of it almost choked her.

"Yeah." Rick cleared his throat, which had gone suddenly dry. " _Yes_."

"Okay." Michonne smiled shyly.

Rick chuckled at her newest unlocked charming feature. "Okay."

Cautiously Rick rested his palm over Michonne's knuckles, brushing them with his thumb. "So, you're … _mine_?"

Michonne giggled, at the dopey grin he had on his face, "Yes. Will you be mine?" Michonne buzzed.

Rick looked down, smiling a small smile as he reached to properly hold her hand and discard the mints still there as he interlocked their fingers. "I've been yours for a real long time."

"Yeah. I don't know how I've missed this," Michonne gestured to their linked hands. "It seems so obvious now."

"Honestly, don't know how you missed it either. I thought … I was beginnin' to believe that maybe you knew, but just didn't wanna … I don't know, hurt me or somethang." Rick finished softy.

"Well, I know now." Michonne grinned.

"Yeah, I guess you do and you're still here. You're out the door yet. So, that's good right?" Rick supposed with a faint smile.

"Right." Agreed Michonne.

 **Next chapter's already up. Enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Last chapter!**

Rick and Michonne took time to simply soak up the excitement both felt at the newer level they'd advanced to. Soon though, Michonne's brain started working against her. She began wondering if she should pull at the thread she knew had the potential to unravel rather messily if answered incorrectly.

But, eventually Michonne couldn't fight the question that was needling at her anymore. "Can I ask you something?"

Rick pressed Michonne's hand to his lips, briefly kissing her palm. "Anything."

Michonne inhaled deeply. "What was Jessie? I mean you wanted her too, right? You thought she was someone you wanted too not so long ago, and you just … got tired of her or stopped—I don't know honestly. I mean, you seem so sure now and I do see, I think I know that you mean what you're saying, but—how do you know you won't—"

"Don't. Please don't finish that thought." Rick hung his head with a sigh, rubbing his thumb gently against hers once more. "Michonne—look, I'm not exactly sure anymore. I don't know what Jessie was or what it was I was doing before, but I know that whatever it was cost me and I can't blame you, or Jessie, or even Monroe for that. That was all me and I'm sorry for it, all of it. You and Jessie aren't the same, Michonne. The connections we share aren't the same. The way I feel about you will _never_ be the same. You're not a fad or some passin' phase for me. I'm not crazy or confused, but I am in deep with this, with you. I've made a'lotta mistakes, but I promise this, this will never be one of them. Just give me the chance to show you that."

Rick cleared his throat, as he visibly worked to find his words. Michonne simply sat quietly, watching him put his thoughts together, giving him the time, he needed to say what he needed to. "I think … to survive in this new world, I constructed this idea that no one was gonna to take what was mine and that for the ones I loved, the things I'd wanted, I'd take them. All of it, even the things I didn't truly need or even want. I just wanted to win! Consequences be damned."

Rick let out a laugh that held no real humour in it. "You know? I've been wonderin' lately, if that was what I've been doin' here—did. I mean what I _did_ here, in the beginnin,' you know? Maybe the mentality I had out there followed me in here and just—I don't think … I didn't recognise it as wrong, until it was too late."

"I don't know. Maybe it ain't even that deep, maybe I was just too stupid and arrogant to see the mess I was really makin' of everythang." Rick turned to Michonne, gazing fully into her eyes. "I don't know what Jessie was, Michonne, but I know what she isn't and that's you. You are everythang to me and the fact that I didn't see it sooner, I didn't earn you sooner, makes me so damn mad at myself because what the hell was wrong with me?"

"What was wrong with you indeed?" Michonne smiled, in an attempt to lighten the mood and ease the turmoil Rick was putting himself through. Rick however didn't laugh though, as his face remained stern.

"I'm serious, Michonne. In this world we can't count on havin' time to make thangs right. We can't bank on it allowin' us to catch up and fix thangs, I learnt that with Lori. She died bein' hated by me and she haunted me for it. Nothin's promised anymore and tomorrow ain't always guaranteed." Rick's voice began breaking, as he tried to force his words out to meet her ears.

Michonne watched powerlessly as the various blues in Rick's eyes began to glitter and fill, and for perhaps the first time in her time of knowing him, Michonne was able to see all Rick had hidden from her. The anguish in his eyes caused a sympathetic ache to ravish her core, but she knew she had to let him get everything he'd been hiding out. There was so much he kept locked away, hidden from everyone's view, even hers. But, all of it was so clear now.

This man was in agony from the weight of everything he'd lost and things he was trying so desperately to cling on to.

Rick eyes grew redder as he spoke, but his tears didn't fall and Michonne could tell that that wasn't by accident. Rick was fighting them, warring to keep them at bay. "How many tomorrows did I miss out on with you? Huh? All because I was too much of a coward tell you what I wanted. All because I let myself get distracted by something familiar. All because some moronic, unevolved part of me was terrified of the possibilities of the unknown – of _you_. Of the limits I would sink to, to keep you breathin,' of the sheer expanse of a life I want to build with you. I've wasted so many. Too many, that I can't get back. I'm never gonna be able to fix that Michonne."

His words read as a plea of forgiveness, but Michonne wasn't sure if she was the one who needed to do the forgiving. Rick was harder on himself, than anybody else could ever be. He needed to forgive himself, to let everything that had happened in the past go. He'd never make it long in this world otherwise.

Michonne tried to ease to his spiral but it seemed like a futile act. "Rick …"

"I'm disappointed in myself, Michonne. I'm disappointed in nearly every single choice and decision I've made since we've been here. I'm disappointed I've never shown you my best self, all you've had is a first-row seat to my mistakes and that kills me. It does. I don't deserve you, but I wanna be that guy that does, more than anythang I wanna be that." Rick ran his free hand over his mouth, appearing to try to gather himself, so Michonne took that moment to cut in and defend him from himself.

"Rick, I've seen nothing short but the best of the best of you. Yes, you've made mistakes, but nobody's perfect and _you're human_. No one man should have the lives of so many on his conscience, but you do, and everyday you still get up to grind and fight for every single one of _your_ people 'tomorrows.' I'm not perfect and I think you have this idea in your head that I'm untouchable or that I'm this superhuman entity, but I'm not. I'm just a person and you need to understand that.

Michonne tried to catch his eye, as she offered him a warm smile to ease his hurt. "You can admire who I am, but this pedestal you seem to be putting me on is unrealistic and from what I'm hearing it's unfair to both of us. You're a good person, Rick. A great man. So many things could be possible for you, if you could just start seeing yourself the way I see you." Michonne lifted her hand to smooth his stray curls away from where they were plastered to his forehead. Rick automatically leaned into the touch with a sigh.

"We can't get back yesterday and your right, tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, but we have today. So, let's just smell the flowers and enjoy _today_ , Rick." Michonne supplied softly.

Michonne felt Rick's breath catch at her words, he turned with a smile so warm she was sure she could feel herself melt. His smile was everything and now she knew it was hers she never wanted to lose it. Rick's hands which came up towards her face, rested hesitantly on her cheeks causing Michonne exhaled deeply. The calm that descended over both of them, caused waves of contentment to surge through their bodies.

"I like that. I want that. _Today_ , with you. All our 'todays' … if-if that's somethang you wanted too?" Rick's voice sounded as soft as it always tended to be whenever it was directed at Michonne, and if it was slightly breathier than normal she failed to mind.

Before Michonne could process the action, she was pressing her lips to Rick's again, slightly bemused by the fact she could even do that now.

She was as excited as she was terrified.

When Michonne tried to pull away Rick chased her, causing her to chuckle into a stolen second kiss. She stopped his pursuit for a third with a gently finger on his lips, as she finally answered his question with a whispered ' _yeah,_ ' generating another heart-melting grin to break out across his face.

After a few beats of bliss within their newly expanded bubble, Michonne pulled away and stretched her arms until she heard a satisfying 'pop.'

"I think we should go to bed." Michonne exhaled, fighting off a yawn in the process. Rick's eyes lit up only to dim as Michonne continued to speak. "We should get some rest, plus I want to check in on the kid's too."

"Michonne …" Rick tried, although arguably his tone could have heavily resembled a whine, "I thought we just agreed we had today."

Michonne smiled as she felt Rick begin to play with the fingers. "We did, but, I think our today should start tomorrow. I know for a fact you're as exhausted as I am."

Rick didn't want to admit it, but he knew she was right. His day had been a long and eventful one, but he also didn't want to admit that he was terrified by the idea of Michonne being away from him, so soon after the newly constructed romantic equilibrium they had just arrived at.

Rick didn't want to risk her regretting her decision to give them a chance. He didn't want to be Michonne's Jessie.

"Okay, but how about you come upstairs with me and Judith? _Stay_. Stay with me and allow me to finally get to wake up to my two favourite girls."

Smirking, Michonne lift Rick's chin with her fingers. "Rick Grimes! Are you trying to get some snuggle/cuddle action going here?"

Rick paused before answering, still unsure if it was all too good to be true. But, the cheeky grin Michonne threw him, dispelled that quickly and communicated her light-hearted banter with him. Rick couldn't quite believe that this could be his life now. Happy, playful and _endlessly hopeful_.

"Because … I _could_ be down for that." Michonne simpered, triggering a contagious grin to form on Rick's face.

"Oh … _you could_ , could you? Rick edged back.

Michonne holding his gaze replied, "yeah, yeah I could."

Rick nodded. "Ok."

"Ok." Michonne smiled back, her eyes then falling from his as she began feeling a little bashful under the different smile, that began to replace Rick's previous one.

Sensing her shyness Rick stood up and reached for Michonne's hand, she clasped it without hesitation as he pulled her to stand and follow him up the stairs. Each step was taken slowly so not to disturb the fresh peace they had found in one another.

Once they reached the top, Rick instinctively pulled her towards Carl's room, knowing she wouldn't be able to truly rest until she had in fact checked on him. He watched as she lightly tapped on Carl's door, listening carefully before popping her head around the door.

Michonne smiled softly when she spotted Carl, spread-eagled with a X-Men comic stuck to his cheek. She chuckled quietly as she moved forward to peel it away and place it on his nightstand, covering him with his duvet. Michonne smoothed his hair out of his face as kissed his forehead. She then made her way back to the door, switching off the lamp on top of Carl's dresser.

Rick offered a smile as she moved back towards him, naturally reaching for his hand once more. Once they reached Rick's room Michonne made her way toward Judith's crib, following almost the same ritual she'd performed with Carl. Rick had to actively hold back a smug grin then, because he knew in that moment – maybe for the first time since he'd know her – Michonne was wrong about something. Because, regardless of whatever Michonne might have believed about herself, she was more than deserving of the pedestal Rick had handcrafted for her and even if she somehow managed to tumble drastically from it, Rick knew he could never view her as anything other than a godsend and a blessing to all of them.

Rick of course intended to keep those perhaps unhealthy thoughts to himself, knowing Michonne would likely deem him 'extra' if he voiced them aloud.

.

OoOoOoO

Michonne looked towards Rick who was next the door he'd quietly closed without her noticing. She finally pushed away from Judith's crib. "She's knocked out."

"Yeah, she sleeps like the dead." Rick snorted, as both of them chuckled lightly at his poor 'joke.'

On a whim Rick edged towards Michonne, gently tucking a stray loc behind her ear, before resting his hand on her elbow. "You sure you're okay to stay?"

"You were pretty definitive that I should before. You having second thoughts?" Michonne smirked.

Rick chuckled, shaking his head before looking at her. "Nah, nah that ain't it." He began to play with her fingers again, something Rick found he enjoyed tremendously. "I just don't want to you to do this … if … if you not sure. This … this means too much to be rushed. I couldn't—I can't take another relationship that's one sided or—."

"I want to be here, Rick. I do." Michonne cut in.

"Okay." Rick nodded, scratching his head while he let out a relieved breath. A moment later, he turned to the bed, gesturing to it. "Do you … have a side or anythang like that?"

"Left." Michonne beamed, "what's yours?"

"Right." Rick grinned back.

As they eased slowly towards the bed, they didn't bother in pulling back the sheets, deciding they didn't want to risk sullying them with the clothes they'd spent all day wearing. Rick was first to lay back, using a pillow to prop up his back as he got comfortable. Once he'd settled Michonne moved in closer, resting her head on his chest as Rick's arms came up around her. He held her tightly, as he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"This … this is good." Rick sighed with an air of a man who's won the lottery.

"It is." Michonne smiled, even though he couldn't see it. "You okay?"

"I'm more than okay." Rick chuckled.

"Me too."

Long moments passed by as Rick observed Michonne's eyes fluttering closed. He watched the steady rhythm of her breathing take over, as sleep took her into its depths. Michonne had been right before, he was exhausted. But Rick, still couldn't quite believe Michonne was here with him – aware of everything he felt for her and still here. A small part of him worried this was all a dream, that he'd wake up tomorrow and find that this was all just something his broken mind had conjured to get him through his remaining days. It sadly wouldn't have been the first time his mind had worked against him to work for him.

Michonne in that moment was all that was on his mind. She was perfect, she fit him perfectly and he just needed a moment to breath it in and enjoy having her this close after this long of wishing for it. Rick pressed a kiss to the top of her head, as he whispered an almost silent 'I love you' before sleep started to finally claim him too. A distant part of him knew his neck and back were gonna wreak havoc on him tomorrow, but he couldn't quite bring himself to care in that instant.

OoOoOoO

Michonne was the first to wake up. It took her a moment to place where exactly it was she was, but the second she registered Rick's arms still loosely around her it all clicked into place. As she raised her head to look at the time she saw Judith standing in her crib, watching her curiously, but with the same giddy smile she always did.

"Hey there, buttercup." Michonne whispered lowly, in an attempt not to wake Rick yet.

Unfortunately, it seemed Judith either wasn't privy to this information or simply didn't care, as she chose to perform her signature piece of ' _mamamamamamama_.' The instant Michonne moved to go to her Rick's arms tightened around.

"She's fine." Rick muffled out.

Michonne wriggled. "She's awake."

"She's _fine_." Rick sighed.

Continuing to try to pry herself free, Michonne almost considerrf nipping at him, "she _wants_ me."

"And?" Rick groused.

"What do you mean ' _and_?' What more is there?" The genuinely perplexed look on her face caused Rick's lips to twitch into a smile. He loved the kind of mother she was.

"She's fine. Stay here a little while longer." Rick knew it was pointless to beg, but he thought it couldn't hurt to try.

Michonne paused in her struggle for a moment. "Okay …" she agreed, before adding, "but let me just go get her. She won't stop until I do."

Rick sighed, knowing full well Michonne was once again, back on form to being right about everything. Nothing was going to silence his little one now she knew her favourite person was close by and not fetching her, but Rick was serious about not wanting Michonne to move. So, not wanting her to leave their fortress earlier than necessary, Rick got up himself – much to the surprise of both Michonne and Judith.

Rick smirked at the way Judith's eyes seemed to narrow in on him as he approached to pick her up, and he understood why perfectly. He was once again messing with her routine and she appeared to be even less amused than yesterday. The instant Judith was in Rick's arms her previous chant of 'mamamamamamama' changed to a chorus of 'nonononononono,' at least until she realised the direction her father was walking back to.

The second she was close enough Judith's arms were stretched out to meet Michonne's outstretch grasp. Once she got to her, Judith seemed immediately contented and contented himself, Rick pulled Michonne back against his chest. Joyous, when she complied happily and she tucked Judith to her, cuddling her close.

Rick wanted to check she understood his aim of spending some more time with her. "So, can you stay a little while _now?_ "

"Mmm. _Just_ a little while." Michonne smiled and Rick for once didn't fight his urge to kiss her, happy knowing he could do so freely now.

At least, that was what he hoped.

He pulled back and looked at her, noticing the way she looked a little dazed and smiled softly.

"This is still ok right?" Rick checked.

Michonne nodded, as a breath-taking smile lit up her face. "Yeah. I think it's more than ok."

Rick grinned. "Good. 'Cause I gotta a lot more of these stored up for you."

"Oh really?" Michonne beamed.

"Uh huh." Rick answered back with a smile.

As he went to lean in for another kiss he was firmly stop by an aggressive, but small palm to his lips and an equally aggressive growl of 'uh, uh, uh' while each sound was punctuated with a 'bop' on his mouth. Rick pulled back and squinted at Judith, as she squinted back. Completely free of fear.

Michonne who lay quietly watching the proceeding, was actively trying to stop herself from cracking up at their father-daughter standoff before. She had known that Judith was only going to last so long, for two reasons. One: this was Judith's usual 'up time' and two: Rick was stealing Michonne's attention from Judith and that was an unacceptable transgression for anyone to make in her little one's eyes.

Rick continued to hold his daughter's unwavering gaze, as he addressed the woman next to him who was hiding her amusement poorly. "So, we're just gonna let this slide? Her determinin' how much affection I can get?"

"I mean … she's made herself pretty clear at this point." Michonne's face animated itself, as a laugh escaped at her throat.

Rick nodded, turning to her forcing himself to hold back a smile. "I guess you got a point. I mean she's been pretty accommodatin.' This is like … what? The … second mornin' I've interrupted momma/daughter time now, right?"'

Michonne agreed, while she grinned openly at his tone. "Right."

Rick looked back down at Judith who was now idlily playing with Michonne's 'M' pendant, apparently over their 'beef' while Rick was still stuck firmly under it.

"Why are you treatin' daddy this way, sweetheart? Remember what we agreed? All this is _only_ for Spencer's dumbass. Remember that, hmm?" Rick grinned at the eyeroll Michonne gifted to him, as he powered on "Why won't you let daddy near your momma?"

The adamant " _mine_ " Judith answered with took both Rick and Michonne by surprise, and Michonne giggled as she pressed a litany of kisses to Judith's face.

"That's right baby, I'm all yours." Michonne cooed, while Judith shrieked in delight. Judith's words were sparse and far apart, so when she actually used them Michonne always tried to encourage her with affection as a form of positive reinforcement. Rick however, seemed to believe it should depend on the word.

"Michonne …" Rick warned, not wanting to encourage Judith's possessiveness – especially over him.

Michonne however, quickly let him know where he stood.

"That's what you get for being petty about Spencer." She giggled, as Rick huffed and poked at Judith's chubby little thigh which rested against Michonne's stomach. "That came back to bite you pretty hard, didn't it? And, just so you know if 'dumbass' becomes a new word in her vocabulary you're gonna be in trouble."

"So, this is what waking up to the two of you entails, huh?" Rick sighed.

Michonne poked Rick's stomach in return. "Uh huh."

Rick began scratching at his chin, as if in deep thought. "Huh. I don't know … maybe we rushed into this thang … Not sure if—" Michonne slapped his shoulder, and Rick started cracking up at the faux offended look on Michonne's face.

Michonne jabbed him again for good measure. "Shut up. No backsies."

Rick gently ran his thumb over Michonne's cheek. "So … I'm stuck with you, huh?"

Michonne once again grew shy under Rick's loaded gaze, "yeah. Well … I mean, at least until you die."

Rick reared back, and Michonne could only laugh at the shocked look on his face. "Why are we assuming I'll die before you?"

Michonne looked at Rick as if he'd grown two heads. "Have you seen me? I haven't aged a day since we met. You on the other hand are aging in dog years my friend."

The opened mouth expression on Rick's face caused Michonne to let her most unattractive cackle fly free. His face resembled a wounded puppy.

" _Dog years_?" Rick frowned.

Michonne reached to pull his hand from her shoulder – where it had fallen after her zinger – as she pressed a kiss to his fingers. "Do you disagree, my love?"

Rick's heart did a spiral dive in his chest, as a warm smile and blush made its way to his face.

Rick shook his head. "When do I _ever_ disagree with you?"

Michonne scoffed, " _all the time_."

Rick scoffed in return, knowing that that was a lie they were both aware of. "Please. We both know the deal here."

"Which is." Michonne prompted with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"' _What Michonne says goes_ ' and that's a direct quote from a conversation I overheard between Glenn and Carl _last week_."

Michonne smirked but remained silent not wanting to incriminate herself.

"Oh. You got nothin' to say huh?" Rick pressed a kiss to Michonne forehead, as he settled her against his side again. "Yeah …. Lucky you're cute." He muttered.

"So, you think I'm cute, huh?" Michonne teased.

"The cutest." Rick grinned against her hair.

Michonne shook her head, "no, that would be my little Judy-patoody."

"Yeah, well your Judy-patoody is on my naughty list right now." Rick grumbled.

Michonne gasped at Rick's words the moment he said them, as she turned to glare at him. "No she's not. Take that back."

Rick frowned, trying to gage of she was serious or not, but he honestly couldn't tell. "What?"

"Take it back, she's a good girl and she needs to hear it." Michonne stated, in a tone that didn't seem like it should be messed with.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Fine. I take it back."

"Thank you." Michonne smiled, as she pressed a quick consolatory kiss to his lips – instantly pacifying him.

Rick chuckled, as Judith watched him with a smile that he wasn't sure he trusted. "You see? Like I said. I have no authority in this house."

Michonne patted his cheek with her warm palm. "Never mind baby."

This time it was Rick's stomach that swooped and dived on him, as he basked in glow of her unthinking term of endearment.

Michonne stretched while balancing Judith on her lap. "You ready to start today?" She asked with smile and Rick didn't know if she meant literally or metaphorically, but his answer either way was exactly the same.

"Yeah, yeah I'm ready." Rick laced his fingers through Michonne's, before bringing them to his lips and kissing them. "We got some flowers to start smellin.'"

 **Believe it or not this wasn't originally supposed to be the ending of this story, but like I mentioned, it was beginning to run a little too long and I didn't want the story to start dragging on or losing its flow. There was going to be some bonus fun with Rick and Spencer, but I may do a one shot or something in a separate compilation. So, please feel free to let me know if you'd be be interested in something like that.**

 **Finally, I want to thank every single person who has read and reviewed this story and I just want you to know that every single one of you are a joy to hear from (your comments have made smile and in some cases even laugh out loud).**

 **Your support is truly appreciated and taken very much to heart.**

 **Thanks for reading,**

 **Naomi :)**


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